Robert Rodriguez

Recently I was fortunate enough to read a book by movie director, Robert Rodriguez called Rebel Without A Crew. It was his journal through the process of making El Mariachi, which was his ticket to bigger and better movies in Hollywood.

The book takes the reader from the process of Rodriguez raising the money to make his first full length movie- he served as a human guinea pig for medical experiments- to his idea of using El Mariachi as a test film to sell to the Mexican television market, so he could use the profits to make sequels.

Rodriguez made the movie for less than eight thousand dollars and aimed to sell it for approximately thirty thousand dollars to a Spanish film distributor. Rodriguez figured his first movie would have mistakes because of his inexperience and that he would use it as a tool for learning. While trying to sell his movie, American movie companies saw his film and put together packages worth over a million dollars. He couldn't believe that anyone wanted to buy his movie for this high and was even more surprised by how many celebrities saw it and asked to be in his future movies. Rodriguez even wanted to reshoot El Mariachi using more well known actors and better special effects, so people wouldn't look down at his first movie.

Reading this book, it appeared that Rodriguez walked into the dream of any filmmaker. I hoped to read about his trials and efforts to getting attention to those in power in Hollywood and the fans, but other than the medical testing and some hard work in post production, it sounded like it came easy to him. The majority of the money to make the movie went into the film it was shot on and not the actors, special effects, or locations.

In all honestly, a little jealousy even sprang up in me. Rodriguez used his first movie to lead into others such as Grind House: Planet Terror, From Dusk Til Dawn, and one of my favorites Sin City. Within a year of shooting what he felt was a movie barely better than a home made video, he was courted by all of Hollywood, and traveling world wide to promote his movie at festivals.

The book Rebel Without A Crew is a good read that not only should be read by Robert Rodriguez fans and those whom want to be filmmakers, but by anyone interested in the behind the scenes aspects of the film industry. The book is a quick read and contains the screenplay for El Mariachi with notes about why he wrote particular scenes into the movie.

Best Christmas Movies Of All Time

It's that time of year where no matter where you are, especially if you are out shopping, you are surrounded by Christmas music, decorations, lights, and just about everything imaginable. On television, cable stations flood their outgoing feed with Christmas movies that they can only show at this time of the year. Many of these movies are crap, but some are almost requirements to have seen if you call yourself American. In no particular order, I present to you the top ten Christmas movies you should have seen.

1. Miracle On 34th Street: I start with this one because actor Edmund Gwenn, who played Kris Kringle himself, played the part of Santa flawlessly; possibly the best Santa in a movie ever. Recently it also has popped up on some people's Google searches because Susan, the little girl that Santa befriends, is played by Natalie Wood, the focus of the reopened accidental death case involving Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken. In a post World War II (1947) era, this movie solidified the image of a glorified 1940's and 1950's era that many reminesce about.

2. Bad Santa: The opposite of Edmund Gwenn's Santa, Billy Bob Thornton plays a dark and twisted robber who poses as a mall Santa to rob mall anchor stores. It's everything that is wrong with Christmas, but somehow still comes off as humorous. Also this movie features that last filmwork by actor John Ritter. At the end of the movie, the darkened heart of Billy Bob opens up as he risks everything to get the little boy a Christmas present. On a side note, this movie also features one of the best movie lines of all time, "Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa," as said by actress Lauren Graham.

3. The Grinch: Speaking of dark hearts cracking open at the end, the Grinch is possibly the best character that Dr. Seuss ever created. Now the Jim Carey version lacked what the animated one did...heart. The animated one is about best Christmas movie to watch with your young ones, but not be bored by some message that will make you want to down a shot of Jack Daniels after they go to bed. The Grinch also has a twentieth century classic Christmas song, You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch.

4. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Chevy Chase's Clark Griswold is the everyday dad trying to create the perfect Christmas for his family. From a house massively decorated in lights and annoying his neighbors to a family dinner ruined by the police busting in after Clark kidnaps his boss over a laughable Christmas bonus, Clark feels the pain of a Christmas not going to plan.

5. It's A Wonderful Life: This one speaks well to the current climate of American society...the banker is the evil guy. Featuring an almost suicide by Jimmy Stewart's character until an angel intervenes, this movie actually flopped while it was shown at the theaters. Through television, it survived and became a staple of television stations for over a half a century. This movie also coined the phrase, "Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings."

6. A Christmas Story: The best Christmas movie of the 1980's, this movie features a boy focused on trying to get a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. He deals with a Santa that pushes him down a slide, licking a frozen pole, and a father that brings home the sexiest lamp ever. Peter Billingsley's glasses also became an iconic look for the nerdy boy.

7. Scrooged: Bill Murray plays a television exec who has lost his Christmas spirit. A spectacularly funny performance by Carol Kane as the Ghost Of Christmas Present is the perfect match to Billy Murray's Frank Cross. In their pairing, unexpectedly bust Bill's balls...literally.

8. Gremlins: Not very well known as a Christmas movie, Gizmo was possibly the cutest Christmas present a parent could present their son. Unfortunately the three important rules were broken and a small town's Christmas is overun by small, green looking monsters. Despite the troubles, eighties children grew up wanting to own their very own mogwai.

9. Home Alone: Mac's best performance of his career, he was chased by Goodfellas star Joe Pesci and Wonder Years voice Daniel Stern. Forgotten by his departing family on their Christmas vacation, Mac survives on his own and staves off the would be burgulars from robbing his home.

10. A Charlie Brown Christmas: More like a Christmas short movie, I still count this classic because of genuine warm feeling you get when you watch it,. Charlie Brown picks the worst Christmas tree in the lot, which at first couldn't even support one Christmas decoration, but with the help of his friends, has the classic tree any family should have. A b-story of Snoopy decorating his doghouse is also classic.

Honorable Mentions:
The Nightmare Before Christmas (I know many of you are reading this and saying what the hell?! Only honorable mention? Yes, I dislike Disney. Plus unlike some of the other Christmas specials/movies Disney has done in the past, this one is massively commercialized.)

Elf (James Caan is one of the best actors of all time and Will Ferrell is so new to the life experiences he comes across. Zooey Deschanel would also make a big step in this to mainstream her career.)

Die Hard ( Yes, you read that write. Almost making my list, this is probably the most action packed Christmas movie ever. It features a performance by Alan Rickman that is outstanding. He is one of the best villains in movie history.)

Things I Learned From Clerks

10 things I learned from the Kevin Smith classic, Clerks.

1. I can leave money on the counter and trust customers to take the correct change. (Actually Dante had a decent theory, but I would be scared about the one douche of a customer that has to steal)

2. There must be a magical jug of milk that last weeks longer than the others. (The milk maid, played by Kevin Smith's own mom shows us how to find it)

3. There is no perfect dozen eggs, even if you mix and match. (Poor school counselor)

4. If you come in to work on your day off, it is okay to close the store down for a couple of hours to play hockey on the roof of the business. (I wonder if you got hurt doing this that you could claim worker's comp?)

5. Don't touch that casket! (Should actually be self explanatory)

6. Don't let the old guy take a porn magazine into the bathroom. (He will die when he sees a pic of someone like Katie Morgan)

7. Gum sales people are vigilant. (They will start a revolt if need be)

8. If you work on the Death Star, you take your own life into your own hands. (Refer a friend to the job if need be, but don't take it)

9. If you work at a mom and pop owned video store, your video store is shitty compared to a corporate owned one. (Just ask Randall)

10. Your girlfriend has possibily sucked 37 ***ks without you knowing. (Wow)

A Whole Different Movie

Some movie storylines are so epic, that even if you have never seen the movie, you know what the movie is generally about through some weird form of entertainment osmosis through friends and family. Because of a clever idea and/or a carefully thought out process of writing, legendary movies take the best route to make them extremely memorable to their fans. In some cases, fans become so entrenched in this world of fiction, it's as if nothing else matters to them.

But as with many movies, you can ask, "What if," questions that would dramatically alter the storyline. Something that would suggest that if the movie went another route, it might not as be epic.

1. Star Wars IV: A New Hope: There are several routes that can be taken here. What if Luke Skywalker follows through with his with to join the Imperial Academy with his friend Biggs Darklighter to become a pilot? Instead of flying an X-Wing and taking out the Death Star, he could have been defending it. Maybe he would become closer to his father Darth Vader. It could have been a, "boy meets long lost father," movie instead. Or even what if Luke picks another android instead of R2D2? Would he still remain a moisture farmer for his aunt and uncle?

2. Back To The Future: At the end of Back To The Future when Marty goes back to the eighties, his mom all of a sudden remembers kissing Calvin Klein (i.e. Marty McFly) at the night of her big dance? How disturbing would that be? Would the whole family need counseling? If so, how would you tell the therapist what happened without sounding like you need some time in the looney bin? Would George McFly be angered at his future son? Who knows?

3. Matrix: Well, actually for this one, I'll jump to Matrix: Revolutions which was the third in the trilogy. After leaving the matrix, Neo seemingly has many of his computer world created powers still. What Neo, Morpheus and the other humans never left the matrix? What if it is revealed that the computers pulled an Inception like move and really created a second matrix within the matrix. Meaning Zion would be a computer created city, rather than the last hold out for the humans against the computers. Also, I guess the obvious "what if" scenario that could be, what if Neo picked the wrong pill when choosing between the red or blue pills?

4. The Crow: What if after avenging the death of his fiancee and himself, Eric Draven doesn't return to Heaven? What if he were to become an undead being? A zombie perhaps. No spiritual being actually gave him a rule book of what would happen when the crow brought Draven's soul back to Earth. Draven technically chose the revenge route, but nothing said that the revenge route would be the end of his journey.

5. The Godfather: What if Sonny was never killed? Would he take over the Corleone empire still? Probably since he was next in line and was the son that Vito was grooming to take over. Michael would have never had to kill The Turk and the cop, which means he would have never had to go to Sicily to hide out, which means he would have never have developed an appreciation for his father's lifework, which means he would never taken it upon himself to learn the family business. He would have been a college professor in a small New England town. This was what he was studying to do in the book.

6. Sin City: What if instead of being hot for Dwight still, Gail is angry at Dwight for going away and hooking up with Shellie? She initially is and after Dwight slaps her across the face, they make out so hard that it looks like their in a battle. What's missed is that the movie is based on the graphic novels of the same name and are almost scene for scene the same as the graphic novel. The movie was based on several of the books and even though there are hints of a past relationship with Dwight and Gail, it's not said in the movie how exactly their relationship formed. In one of the other graphic novels, Gail nursed a nearly dead Dwight back to health, despite the fact that old town is supposed to be only resided by hookers. The other hookers were angry at Dwight's presence, but Gail fell hard for him. After healing up, he leaves and hooks up with waitress Shellie, which is where the movie picks up.

7. Field Of Dreams: What if Ray Kinsella is scared of ghosts? After seeing the appearance of Joe Jackson, he is so freaked out, that he bulldozes the precious land that he really needs for his corn crop. Or on another "what if" scenario, what if he loses his farm to the bank? Would he still have run into his father's ghost somewhere?

Nicki Minaj Cosmo Cover

Even though most of these blogs are more based media in the form of movies, television, and music, this one is based on something I came across a couple of days ago at a grocery store. Just like all grocery do, Albertson's displays magazines by their registers. Most of these are aimed at females for impulse purchases. Everything from People to Star. One of the mainstays at grocery store registers is Cosmopolitan magazine as well.

On this occasion, while waiting in line for the register, I noticed that the magazine slot slated for Cosmopolitan magazine had a black magazine divider, often used by places that sell adult magazines to keep the young ones from seeing the cover. On this divider there was a note that read, "If you would like to purchase Cosmo magazine, please ask your cashier."

Intrigued, I asked the cashier what the deal was. The cashier told me it was because of what Alberston's felt was a racier cover of Cosmo. I joked if it was one of the headlines that usually tells the reader how to have more fun in the bedroom or something to that extent. The cashier said it was of the outfit Nicki Minaj was wearing on the cover. They went on to say that they felt the outfit was too racy.

On my returning home later that night. I noticed my wife had an issue of Cosmo sitting on the kitchen table (as per her monthly magazine addiction). Looking at the cover, it was sort of a let down. I believe I have seen racier magazine covers before and not just on magazines like Maxim. Even other issues such as Cosmo have been racier in my opinion.

For a magazine to be banned from the lines at the register of a grocery store, I would have expected worse. As a teenager, I remember Madonna on a cover of a magazine, in a black leather bikini and pulling on a leash that was attached to a collar she was wearing. If this could be shown in line for a register, why would Minaj's cover be banned at Alberston's. Her outfit covers more than have the covers out there. So for your troubles in reading this post, here's a picture of the cover.

10 Things I Learned From I Love Lucy

One of the most watched television shows of all time is I Love Lucy. Debuting on air in the fifties, I Love Lucy set standards in how sitcoms would be made, how comedy is done on television, and even how people can live in real life. The show was based on the crazy, redhead trying to get into her hubby's show and involving their landlords/best friends in the process. So I present to you...

10 Things I Learned From I Love Lucy

1. Keep your house thoroughly cleaned because you never know when an agent or celebrity might drop by. (Apparently in the fifties celebrities had nothing better to do than to hang out in people's apartments)

2. It is okay to mock a Cuban man's accent. (Credit to Ricky for never actually getting furious with the others for mocking him)

3. Never stop your wife from being in the show. (She will always find a way to get in, whether it's tying up another actress and throwing her in a closet, pretending to be someone other than your wife, or just plain showing up behind you on stage while you sing)

4. Make sure there is a door handle on the inside of your walk in freezer. (Lucy nearly froze to death, trying to freeze a ton of meat)

5. It is okay to spank your wife when she has been bad, not just naughty. (Ricky must have enjoyed spankings because he spanked Lucy nearly every other episode)

6. Country singers were dumb in the fifties. (Tennessee Ernie Ford visited the Ricardos for several episodes, but had not one ounce of common sense in him)

7. Putting on a costume, whig, or different clothes than you normally wear, will make you virtually unrecognizeable to even those you know. (Hell, Lucy dressed as a man, only putting on a suit and a fake mustache, and nearly fooled Ricky and Fred at the man's baby shower)

8. Women didn't have contractions when they went into labor in the fifties. (Lucy simply announced it was time, but never had contractions or pain of any sort)

9. There are towns in New England that are only run by two people. (Remember the mom and pa that played every role from motel owner to mayor?)

10. Clones were running rampant in the fifties. (One minute a guy is your blind waiter, the next he's Freddy Filmore, gameshow host)

A New James Bond?

With Daniel Craig vacating the role of the coolest super agent in the world, someone will have to step in the shoes of James Bond. On the very short list over five years ago, was Hugh Jackman. In fact Hugh Jackman was the leading candidate.

Problem was Hugh Jackman was already in the middle of playing another iconic role, Wolverine in X-Men 2. Jackman had said he greatly wanted to play the role of James Bond, but only wanted to play one great character at a time. Now that he is no longer playing Wolverine, the door has opened up again half a decade later. Hugh Jackman is once again considered to be playing James Bond and he has let it slip in several interviews that he would accept.

The only wrench could be that he has several other contenders for the job too. Mentioned as candidates are Ewan McGregor, Joshua Jackson, Jon Hamm, and my favorite candidate, Clive Owen.

Ewan has the Scottish ancestry like the greatest James Bond had, Sean Connery. The accent would go well with James Bond. He is more closer to a Daniel Craig James Bond, rather than a Connery Bond.

Joshua Jackson has a couple of stigmas playing against him. First, Dawson's Creek and The Mighty Ducks. Second, he's American and has no accent. He has the intensity for the role and is actually an accomplished actor, but still, he is an American and doesn't even give off the hint that he can play a Brit.

Jon Hamm can play suave like James Bond, but has no credibility as an action star. Also roles in other movies such as Bridesmaids make it harder to see him as a guy you want to root for in a action scene. Plus, he's an American that can't do a Brittish accent.

Finally, my first choice, Clive Owen. Looking into his career filmography, it's not hard to see that his resume plays as training for a role as 007. He has action credibility, the accent, the look, and has already played a role that basically was James Bond (in The Pink Panther). With his intensity and action star traits from Sin City and his great monologues in scenes from movies like Closer, he is the perfect fit.

While Hugh Jackman might be the front runner in real life, Clive Owen would be my choice if I were the casting director.