Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Things I Learned From Clerks

10 things I learned from the Kevin Smith classic, Clerks.

1. I can leave money on the counter and trust customers to take the correct change. (Actually Dante had a decent theory, but I would be scared about the one douche of a customer that has to steal)

2. There must be a magical jug of milk that last weeks longer than the others. (The milk maid, played by Kevin Smith's own mom shows us how to find it)

3. There is no perfect dozen eggs, even if you mix and match. (Poor school counselor)

4. If you come in to work on your day off, it is okay to close the store down for a couple of hours to play hockey on the roof of the business. (I wonder if you got hurt doing this that you could claim worker's comp?)

5. Don't touch that casket! (Should actually be self explanatory)

6. Don't let the old guy take a porn magazine into the bathroom. (He will die when he sees a pic of someone like Katie Morgan)

7. Gum sales people are vigilant. (They will start a revolt if need be)

8. If you work on the Death Star, you take your own life into your own hands. (Refer a friend to the job if need be, but don't take it)

9. If you work at a mom and pop owned video store, your video store is shitty compared to a corporate owned one. (Just ask Randall)

10. Your girlfriend has possibily sucked 37 ***ks without you knowing. (Wow)